I confess… I’m starting to see myself in new ways that I never thought were truly possible. Last night I stood in front of the mirror in my ugly old Eeyore PJ pants and a tank top-no shaper top to control my rolls, hair a mess, and just looked at myself in the mirror. I liked what I saw. I’m still working on getting in shape and improving this body of mine, but for once in my life I’m starting to truly love what I’ve got in the meantime. There’s something truly amazing about that.
Even a midst this week of hormones (ugh, I totally know what’s coming next week when I get all weepy for no good reason-being a girl is ridiculous!) I could truly look at myself and think “Wow, I’m gorgeous.” and even more shockingly I found myself thinking “I love this body of mine-even this big ass!” without feeling like they were empty words. It was one of the best things I’ve felt in a long long time.
I confess… It’s pretty much winter coat weather, and I don’t mind one bit. We had our first real snowfall on Sunday and I found myself staring out the window that night after everyone had gone to bed and contemplating the falling flakes. I quickly threw on my sweater and boots and went out to stand in the middle of the yard, face up and staring at the sky, wishing for everything and nothing all at once. I love that sweet stillness a quiet snowfall brings-it’s perfect for contemplation.
I confess… It doesn’t hurt that winter clothing is adorable too. I’m loving wearing sweaters and my winter coat again-I even bought a pair of snow boots finally so I wont freeze trekking to my car this winter.
I confess… I ordered this adorable little Brad & Janet print from Pretty Clementine and I could not be happier with it. Isn’t it just fantastically sweet and geek-tastic all at once? I’m going to frame it and put it up in the vanity area where I get ready for work each day. So cute! Doesn’t hurt that it was only $5.
I confess… I’ve been thinking a lot about risk these days. When I was younger I was never really afraid, at least not enough to let it persuade me not to do things. I took chances, and I was happier for it. Somewhere over the last few years I’ve developed this fear, or hesitancy rather, that has made me that kid at the top of the slide (as the quote indicates) and kept me from putting myself out there. I’m done with it. It makes life a lot less fun and it causes way more stress than it needs to, this letting fear control you.
There are lines in the song Love Me by Katy Perry that I mentioned on Monday that say “No more second guesses, No there’s no more questing” and also “No concealing my feelings” that I’ve taken to heart. I’m done being afraid to just go after the things I want or to speak my truth. So this weekend I mustered up the courage (with the aid of a little too much liquid courage) to tell someone how I felt about them, and I have no regrets. Who knows what will come of it? I surely don’t, but I feel better for having said it and am filled with hope and optimism-which is a nice feeling.
Lastly, I’m leaving you this lovely Friday with the above video. It’s about speaking your truth and coming out of your proverbial closet-whatever it may be. (And no, we’re not just talking about closets with rainbow colored walls, as she says.)