Good Reads Synopsis
“I’ve been single for my entire life. Not one boyfriend. Not one short-term dating situation. Not one person with whom I regularly hung out and kissed on the face.”
So begins Katie Heaney’s memoir of her years spent looking for love, but never quite finding it. By age 25, equipped with a college degree, a load of friends, and a happy family life, she still has never had a boyfriend … and she’s barely even been on a second date.
Throughout this laugh-out-loud funny book, you will meet Katie’s loyal group of girlfriends, including flirtatious and outgoing Rylee, the wild child to Katie’s shrinking violet, as well as a whole roster of Katie’s ill-fated crushes. And you will get to know Katie herself — a smart, modern heroine relaying truths about everything from the subtleties of a Facebook message exchange to the fact that “Everybody who works in a coffee shop is at least a little bit hot.”
What I Thought of Never Have I Ever My Life (So Far) Without a Date
I can’t decide whether or not it’s a good thing how completely relatable this book was for me. I mean, I know the importance of understanding your star sign and so I’m a little more experienced in love. I’ve had boyfriends, second dates, and guys I regularly “kissed on the face” – but some of her horror stories and interactions with not only guys but her friends hit VERY close to home. There were several parts of the story where I felt I could simply substitute myself for her and replace her best friend Rylee (the energetic girl who had guys falling all over her everywhere she went) with the name of my own beloved Melanie Grace. At one point near the end of the book she describes Rylee as a “lighthouse” who’s light was constantly on bringing in every sailor nearby-even the ones she’s not the least bit interested in. That was Melanie to a T.
All in all I found her awkwardness and “borderline hostility” kind of fit me to a T. I’m not the girl who immediately smiles at strangers-I’ve always been very standoffish with people at first, especially when caught off guard (as a dude flirting with you in a bar will often do) and have had a lot of the same results Katie did when it comes to meeting guys. I don’t think it’s just that I personally feel like I can relate to this character, but it’s also her down-to-earth writing style and way of telling the story that makes it easy to connect with.
My favorite chapter was when she talks about her second time using online dating. She talks about the different types of emails you receive on OKCupid-and it’s true. Every single one of those messages closely resemble a message I’ve received in my own online dating experience. She also talks about guys who would email her friends the same messages she receives, and there have been oh so many times a friend and I would receive the same copy/paste email from a guy on OKCupid. She calls internet dating “romantic jail” and I thought that was the perfect nickname for it.
Sometimes her “voice” (or at least the way I interpreted it via her writing style) reminded me a bit of Karen.
***Possible spoiler past this point***
All in all I love how she wrapped up this book. So many times books like this end with a “happy ending” where everything ties up neatly, and I spent some time secretly hoping that her last chapter wouldn’t be all about how she finally met a guy and found her picket fence blah blah blah. Not to spoil it or anything, but my wish was granted. I LOVED that instead the book wrapped up with her talking about how OK she is with being single-which is perhaps the most relatable part of the book.
It’s nice to not constantly be preached at about how we are supposed to be coupled up. Sure, I’d like to have someone eventually, but I also like being single. It has it’s advantages. I’ll like being with someone someday, but for now why can’t I enjoy where I am and not rush towards having to be with someone? The rush inevitably makes you settle for less than you deserve (which I’ve done or almost done a few times) and maybe-just maybe-allowing yourself to be okay with being single for a while will let you take your time in finding a good match. It’s all about the ride. So in that sense, I’m very grateful to Katie Heaney for writing a book that ends with the character being okay with being single-I think more women could learn a thing or two about themselves if they were for a while.