No matter whether you’re the one making the call, or you’re the one living with another’s decision on the matter, ending a relationship is never easy. If it’s not working out for one person, or both, someone has to be the one to call it quits-whether they want to or not. Most of us have been on both ends of the experience, and neither one of them is particularly enjoyable. Sometimes, the way you call it quits is by pulling The Fade Away…
The Fade Away
When I think about it, I can’t honestly say whether I have more experience dumping or being dumped, but I can say with certainty that the majority of what I remember is the latter. The memories I can call to mind quickly make me think I’ve been on the receiving end of bad news more often than the giving, but if I really stop and think about it in terms of “the fade away” I can’t honestly say one way or another.
What is The Fade Away?
What’s the fade away? Well it’s basically ending it like a coward… You just kind of let the relationship fizzle out and, as it states, fade away. Usually one person is more into it than the other, and the one that’s not just kind of keeps blowing them off until they get the hint. It’s not usually something that happens when two people have been in a serious relationship, but more so when it’s just been a couple of dates and one or the other just isn’t feeling it.
Remembering those times when I’ve been interested and then just never heard back from the person I was trying to date, it sucks. I remember calling them jerks and wondering why they couldn’t just “man up” (that’s a sexist term-but fitting in this description) and tell me it was over. Then I’d go on with my life, whether grieving the lost opportunity or laughing it off, and move on.
I’ve Pulled The Fade Away
I never really considered the fact that I’d been that jerk a few times myself until recently when it was pointed out to me. In October I went on a date with a guy who was nice, but also kind of weird… He was jittery, and he made paying this whole ordeal. I didn’t mind paying for myself, but when they accidentally put both our coffees on one check he acted like he’d have to go out to his car to dig pennies out of the cup holders if I couldn’t convince them to split it. Then he wanted to go on a second date to which he invited me, and when he picked an expensive type of food to go out for, he decided he wanted to go dutch instead of taking me as he’d originally offered. Really, not a big deal, but it was enough of a hassle and I hadn’t really been that into him to begin with, that I just kind of stopped responding. I did the fade away. Which is when Kristina pointed this song out to me:
The Fade Away by Garfunkel and Oates
Note: There are some adult lyrics so listen/read on at your own discretion.
When you’re faced with the reality of the tables being turned it really opens your eyes to what the other people may have been feeling when they did the same thing to you. Personally, it made me feel a little more compassion for what people in your shoes may have had to go through when they decided they just weren’t feeling you. At least that’s what happened for me.
No one ever wants to be the bad guy, which is exactly why I did what I did. So, perhaps it wasn’t the right thing, but it was the easier thing. Which is likely the case for guys who did it to me… Do I have more compassion to them now? Yeah, a little. Do I still hope guys will take the time to end it in the future instead of fading away? Yes. I do.
I just hope I wont be clingy or needy when they do it-I just want to be that girl who can shrug it off and move on. That way, maybe more people will learn that it’s okay to end things properly rather than fade away. I know I’m going to learn going forward… But I’m also going to know when to accept a fade away for what it is when it happens again. ;)Like the song says, I’ve been a hypocrite. I’ve remembered all the guys who did “the fade away” to me as jerks, and forgotten all the guys I ended things with like that… Guess it’s time to learn from that break up mistake and be a better person.