This is a post that’s been circling in my brain for a really long time, and it wasn’t until Kesha’s song Love Into the Light (below) came up on my playlist the other day that I finally was able to form some kind of coherent post regarding it.
Every day on social media you see people talking about their lives and sharing things they love. For every post about something someone loves, there are equal amounts of posts about the things that people don’t love, and even more comments bashing on people for liking the things they do. I’m not talking about disagreeing, disagreeing is fine-everyone is entitled to their opinions. I’m talking about flat out bashing someone because they like something, even when it has nothing to do with you.
For example, someone posts something they’re into-maybe it’s a video game, a nerdy TV show, or a certain style-and then you see the flood of comments saying things like “Ew, I can’t believe you like that” or “I wish I could be easily entertained by stupid shit like that.” Or, you just see people posting things like “People who do this [insert totally harmless thing] are stupid” memes and statuses. Why? Why do you have to lash out at something that has nothing to do with you? So what if that person watches a silly TV show that you don’t like? Talk about what you like, instead of talking about how people like something you don’t.
The same thing can be said for using the terms “hipster” or “basic bitch” for people who like things. People get called a hipster because they eat at a hole in the wall restaurant, grow a beard, or wear flannel… Ladies get called basic bitches for wearing leggings, enjoying Fall, and drinking Pumpkin Spice Lattes. Maybe, just maybe, they like those things. Isn’t it okay to like things without people making up a name to be used derogatorily for you?
Don’t get me wrong, I like to joke about these things, mostly just about myself-calling myself a basic bitch for buying something pumpkin spice… Or when my friend calls me a hipster for something and then laughs about all the “hipster-esque” things he does. We don’t have to take everything so seriously, but what you joke about with your friends (who know you are joking and love you anyway) isn’t always appropriate for other people you interact with. I wouldn’t go out and call some girl a basic bitch or a hipster based on her clothing with any kind of seriousness or malice. I don’t roll that way-because why would I want to bring someone down if they might be feeling good about themselves. Maybe she feels comfortable in those boots, and maybe those leggings make her feel like her legs look good-making fun of her for her confidence just makes you an asshole-no matter if she’s a size 2 or a size 26.
The sad thing is that it’s so common for this kind of reaction, that even those of us who are genuinely good people who actually want to build people up also catch ourselves reacting that way sometimes. Maybe it’s time to start rethinking how we react first.
So what if all she does is post pictures of her kids? So what if all he wants to talk about is Star Trek/Walking Dead/AHS/My Little Pony? So what if so-and-so posts a lot of selfies or pictures of their dinner? What if that person checks in from the gym every day? Get over it. It has nothing to do with you, and it doesn’t hurt or involve you in any way.
You know what you can do? Scroll on by. Keep it to yourself. It may come as a shock, but you don’t have to take time out of your day to try and ruin someone else’s, and you don’t have to say every thought that comes into your head.
Shouldn’t we instead be focusing on the places and ways we can improve someone’s day and life? Because let’s face it, life is difficult and every single one of us has problems we’re dealing with-whether it’s health, relationships, money, car issues, or something else. Some of us talk about them out loud in hopes of finding support, and some of us keep them to ourselves and opt for sharing silly comics or posts about the things we love in order to relieve some of the stress. None of us want our day to get worse than it already may be, so why do so many try to make that happen for others?
As of right now, I’m making a more conscious effort to think about what I say and how it will affect others before I say it.
I’m allowed to disagree with someone and I’m allowed to state it if I need to. When it comes to things that directly affect me or the people I love, like laws or injustices, I’m going to express my disagreement-but in a calm and rational way. There’s no need to call names, insult, or yell and scream at people-even in those circumstances-because you don’t end up looking like the smart one when you act that way. No one’s opinion is easily swayed when they’re being made to feel like they’re less than or like you feel like you’re smarter than them.
Also, I’m allowed to not like the same things as other people. Sure, you love that popular show and I just don’t get it, but do I need to say something about that? Nope. Do I need to think less of you for liking it? Not at all, and even if I did-do I need to express that and try and hurt your feelings? Definitely not.
Basically my point is this-if it has nothing to do with you and it doesn’t hurt anyone, stay out of it. Live and let live.
While we’re talking about it, a person’s weight, the way they dress, the food they like, the medication they’re on, the god they believe in or don’t believe in, etc… None of it has anything to do with you and if they wanted your opinion or “concern” they’d ask.
I also think I’m going to stop doing the link-up for Musical Mondays since it only gets a few entries a month. BUT if you write a Musical Mondays post leave a link in the comments and I’d be happy to stop by and say hello. 🙂