Okay folks, I am officially announcing it on the blog-that makes it official official right? I have a boyfriend. A real boyfriend. Not a “I like this guy and we’re seeing each other but he’s not sure he wants to commit so we’re just keeping it casual…” but a BOYFRIEND. A.k.a an attractive fella who buys me flowers, likes me as much as I like him, and checks in on me throughout the day to make sure I know I’m appreciated and missed. It’s kind of spectacular.
You know, I can’t remember a time in the last ten years that I’ve had a relationship where that term was or could be used. Yes, I’ve dated… A lot. However, all of those guys I dated either weren’t longterm, serious, or willing enough to become an actual boyfriend/girlfriend situation. Even the ones that were around for a while were too messed up to claim any kind of commitment… I had a lot of “yeah we’re together, but we’re open/polyamorous/etc.” and thus, we never used the title.
And then, after only 3 dates, while wrapped up together in the comfort of a warm bed he asked me to be his girlfriend. He looked at me in the dark and said “What does this mean? What are we? Are we boyfriend and girlfriend?” It wasn’t a complete shock, we’d already discussed what we were looking for, both of us stating that we wanted a stable committed relationship instead of the long string of duds and heartaches we’d been exposed to previously. I know people who had to go through extreme emotional breakdowns, as they weren’t clear about what they wanted from their relationships. Maybe it’s a human thing to be more casual about relationships. Because there are people who talk to horny strangers to fulfill their sexual desires, and it is clearly casual with no strings attached. As for my relationship, I was confused because we’d only been talking for about two weeks. Wasn’t three dates and a week of dating too short for any kind of real commitment?
How could we just say-hey you’re my boyfriend/girlfriend after knowing each other for so little time? I thought about it for a moment. I’d read articles about how the French date, they just couple up and get to know each other as an exclusive couple. No reason to DTR (define the relationship) and no need for all the drama and struggle that is what we call dating. “No, we’re not in a relationship, we’re just dating.” What even is that? Why do we do it? I hate it.
So why not? Why not take a leap and try something different-nothing I’ve been doing has been working so maybe it’s time to take a new approach to this whole love thing. So I said “yes, I’ll be your girlfriend” and he kissed me and declared that we would absolutely be monogamous. No sharing, no misunderstanding, no wondering what we are to each other… We’re just skipping all of the junk and stress and we’re giving this a real go. A real honest-to-goodness try at something real.
I woke up the next morning in a bit of a state of shock. Yes, it should be no big deal and it feels easy and good but I didn’t even know what to do with a boyfriend… I haven’t had a boyfriend in so long and I had started to wonder if I was a little bit broken where commitment was concerned. Perhaps I may soon have to opt for a myofascial massage therapy and de-stress myself from all the questions. All of them are plaguing my head a little. How do you function in a real relationship? How do you function without worrying and wondering if it’s going anywhere? What do you do when you know he’s just as into you as you are to him?
It’s really kind of messed up that those are even thoughts that crossed my mind. I legitimately have dated so many guys that weren’t at all good for me (some of them were good people, some of them not, but none of them were “healthy” relationships) that I wasn’t even sure how to function in a real partnership. I mean yeah, I’ve always said that I’d make a damn good girlfriend, but when faced with the real opportunity part of me felt a bit flighty. A very small part of me felt the need to run for something familiar…
But I squashed the tiny flicker of fear that popped up from the wreckage that was the damaged parts of my heart and I went for it. I took a leap, he took a leap, and it felt damn good to be all in with someone who was all in with me. It’s nice to start a relationship on an even playing field, knowing that we can move towards a future without having to second guess or stress over it.
Thus, the perpetual single girl that I’ve been my whole life disappeared overnight.
I am somebody’s girlfriend.
Somebody with a big heart, tons of intelligence, and the desire to grow into something lasting and meaningful. I really lucked out with this one I think, and I’m so excited to get to know him better and see what we grow into.
I actually posted on Facebook a status talking about how I didn’t know what to do with a boyfriend. Here were a few of my favorite responses:
“You have to feed and water them regularly or they die.” – Kristina
“So after that point it stops being we’re just having fun together, and when they start going through real shit in their life you wade through it with them, and they wade through it for you too, and if one or the other isn’t willing to get dirty then it probably won’t work but if you can be there in the shit together then you have a chance.” – Andrew
“You start dating. They say let’s be a couple. You lick them to claim them as yours. They give you a class ring. Eventually you leave a toothbrush at their house. Months later you get a smith’s account together and get $0.15 off each gallon of gas.” – Julie
“You might freak out about the Smith’s card. Or you might save that freak out for the Costco membership.” – Megan
“The biggest freak out was the second key to the new car they just bought.” – Jon
“Does anyone? I think we all just fake it until it goes on long enough that things seem set.” – Beth
I’m so sick of that same old love
That shit it tears me up
I’m so sick of that same old love
My body’s had enough
Oooh, that same old love
Oooh, that same old love
I’m so sick of that same old love
Feels like I’ve blown apart
I’m so sick of that same old love
The kind that breaks your heart
Oooh, that same old love
Oooh, that same old love
Like it? Buy it:
I’m so happy that this guy recognizes how fabulous you are. I swear the other guys in your city must have been dropped on their heads or something as clueless as they are.
You deserve to be treated like a gem.
Yeah, Utah is a bad run for men… Luckily this one is from Portland! Haha
Happy for you lady! You deserve to be happy 🙂
Thank you, we all deserve it. 🙂
Yay! I am so happy for you! 🙂
Yay! I am so happy for you! 🙂
Thank you! 😀
I happen to think you are going to make a wonderful girlfriend and I’m very excited for you. <3
I happen to think you are going to make a wonderful girlfriend and I’m very excited for you. <3
Aw, thanks so much babe!
So excited for you lovely! xoxo
Thank you, you are so sweet!
So excited for you lovely! xoxo
I’m so incredibly happy for you. I’m one of those secret readers that is very up to date but hardly comments but yayyyyyy!!! I’m on the opposite end, most guys go exclusive with me right as we start dating so I’m currently trying to see what dating feels like. So far it sucks but hey, I had a good run
Aw, thank you. I love knowing you’re out there. I adore you!
And yes, dating is the pits, but it’s definitely something you have to try sometimes.
I’m very happy for you, Angie. You definitely deserve this!
Aw, thank you. I think I do.
So happy for you! Looking forward to reading more about this fella 🙂
Thank you, and he’ll definitely be talked about more.
Awwww! What a great post. Happy for you and taking a chance
Thank you!
YAY!! I am so happy to read this post! I hope you have finally found someone to make you happy and treat you the way you deserve. 🙂
Aw, thank you. It’s so great to see all of my bloggy friends commenting that they’re happy for me instead of “I’m sorry to hear you dated another jerk!” haha!
Congrats! I’ve see your updates on snapchat. So cute:) What a new and exciting time for you!
Thank you! I’m loving the snapchat fun!
So happy for you! I hope that he knows what to do with a girlfriend 😉 Much love!
Thank you! You’re so sweet, and he seems to. He has more experience with exclusivity than I do, and he’s already started showing up with flowers and texting me that he misses me through the day. He’s a keeper.
Yay congrats girl! 🙂 You deserve it.
xoxo, Jenny
Thank you! 😀
Yay congrats girl! 🙂 You deserve it.
xoxo, Jenny
I’m seriously so happy for you! You deserve to be loved as much as you love someone and I’m excited to hear about your adventures together 🙂
Aw, you are so so sweet. Thanks for being my friend, friend!
I’m seriously so happy for you! You deserve to be loved as much as you love someone and I’m excited to hear about your adventures together 🙂
Wish you all the happiness with your new boyfriend. Be as happy!
Thank you so much, you’re so sweet.
Yay, that’s awesome! After being single for a long time it definitely is weird being in a relationship again – but you get used to it! I think lots of people put pressure on relationships, and that’s where the stress comes from. It can still be carefree and fun if you’re “exclusive”. I wish you lots of happiness and cuddles!!
Yay, that’s awesome! After being single for a long time it definitely is weird being in a relationship again – but you get used to it! I think lots of people put pressure on relationships, and that’s where the stress comes from. It can still be carefree and fun if you’re “exclusive”. I wish you lots of happiness and cuddles!!
Thank you so much. It’s pretty fun so far!
Enjoy the new, exciting “butterflies” feeling! Happy for you!!
Thank you!
Thank you! You are so nice and I’m glad you appreciate my post. 🙂
YES. You fucking deserve it! I’m so happy this guy met you. 🙂
And the time judgement doesn’t apply if you’ve got a good head on your shoulders and are thinking clearly. Stace and I were exclusive boyfriend/girlfriend three days after we met. That was four years, a house, two cats, and a ring ago….so I think we’re good. May you and your new beau be as happy! 😀
Thank you so much! I agree… I’ve been cautious before… I think I’ve been trained to be so because of so much drama with guys in the past, but this time it feels natural and easy to move quick and at a good pace. It makes good sense-we’re useful to each other.
YES. You fucking deserve it! I’m so happy this guy met you. 🙂
And the time judgement doesn’t apply if you’ve got a good head on your shoulders and are thinking clearly. Stace and I were exclusive boyfriend/girlfriend three days after we met. That was four years, a house, two cats, and a ring ago….so I think we’re good. May you and your new beau be as happy! 😀
I’m so happy for you. I hope nothing but the best for you both!
I’m so happy for you. I hope nothing but the best for you both!
Thank you! You’re so sweet babe.
Congratulations! Glad to hear you have yourself a real man that knows what he wants and asks for it. I wish you all the best and happiness!
Yes! What a change it is to find a real man. Thank you!
Whoo hoo! Go get you some!
Thanks babe!
aww how cool!! he bought you those flowers? I’m not a flower person, but i love how colorful and different they are. 🙂 he seems like a keeper.
I like flowers well enough, but more so for me it’s the fact that he took the time to pick something out and think of me. That was the sweetest!
happy to hear that you are both on the same page about wanting a relationship. hoping things keep going well 🙂
Thank you! I hope so too.
I’m so excited for you, Angie! You deserve all the best. 🙂 I can’t wait to hear more about the new guy!
Aw, thank you so much! You’re so sweet.
Yay!!! Having a boyfriend is AWESOME. For instance: I was having a grumpy day yesterday. Boyfriend brought me my fav: Andes Mints as a little treat to keep at work for my grumpy days. And they make you dinner. You make them dinner. You snuggle and binge watch Netflix. You flirt, you fight, you make up, you make out. It’s awesome.
That’s wonderful! Yes, those little thoughtful things I’m finding are the best! He knew I was out of dog treats and he texted me to ask what Bub likes, and then he brought home the biggest box of milkbones the store had! It was the sweetest.
First way to go, second, this makes be think of my daughter Jess she has never had a boyfriend she says she isn’t interested I do not know if that is true or not she is happy with her life and her son, yes she has a son and has never had a boyfriend which some people find as strange.
Nah, I totally get it. I’ve dated a lot, even some guys for an extended amount of time, but they weren’t actually “boyfriends” so I get it!
First way to go, second, this makes be think of my daughter Jess she has never had a boyfriend she says she isn’t interested I do not know if that is true or not she is happy with her life and her son, yes she has a son and has never had a boyfriend which some people find as strange.
Reading this made me incredibly happy for you. 🙂
Aw, thank you so much!
YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY 🙂
This sounds EXACTLY like Mr. Coffee and I and it makes me so happy. He’s the best thing that ever happened to me! We met 9/5/2014. Were boyfriend/girlfriend 9/21/2014. And I had moved into his place by the end of the year. All the shit boyfriends I dated before make me appreciate him even more. And yes, in the beginning I was like “uh what do I do now?!?”. But really, you just love each other, support each other, doing fun things together, and do boring things together. It’s so much fun 🙂
Aw thank you! We’re moving fast, even discussing when we might move in together (because his lease is up soon and I’m struggling with my bills due to buying ahouse-so it makes really good financial sense to take on a roommate-and a roommate I like. It’s not like he can’t move out if we don’t work out right? haha!) and I tell my best friend Kristina and she’s like “Oh man, this sounds just like Ken (her husband) and me… We met, we spent every night together for like two months and then I was like ‘I live here now’ and moved in.” She says since it sounds like her fairytale romance she hopes it means it’ll be a happy ever after for me too lol.
YEP! It was the same. lmao oh man. so funny.
“I live here now” is pretty much how it happened too. He cleaned out a closet for me one weekend and then like two weekends later, I was barely going back to my place. lol!
YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY 🙂
This sounds EXACTLY like Mr. Coffee and I and it makes me so happy. He’s the best thing that ever happened to me! We met 9/5/2014. Were boyfriend/girlfriend 9/21/2014. And I had moved into his place by the end of the year. All the shit boyfriends I dated before make me appreciate him even more. And yes, in the beginning I was like “uh what do I do now?!?”. But really, you just love each other, support each other, doing fun things together, and do boring things together. It’s so much fun 🙂
Yippee! I am so happy for you!
Thank you 🙂
So happy for you! When one door closes, an even better one opens 🙂 Yay!
So very true! 😀