We’ve all had those brief relationships in school and in college, the ones that we weren’t invested in. They’re usually two or three month stints, passageways into adulthood that come and go rather frequently. And then, there are those life-affirming relationships, the ones that you never want to end. Perhaps you had dreams of it ending with marriage, a mortgage and children. When those dreams are crushed and your whole life crumbles, it’s hard to pick up the pieces.
But, pick up the pieces you must! You have to get your life back on track. You can deal with the emotional trauma in the long-run; right now, you have several important things to sort.
Financially
Depending on how closely you were both tied together, this will either be very easy, or very difficult. To start with, you’ll want to close any joint bank accounts you may have opened.
To do this, start by transferring any direct debits from that account to a new one. Once that’s done, transfer the money out of the account and into your personal one. Now it’s a simple case of contacting your bank and asking them to shut it down permanently.
Next, you have to make sure you ‘financially unlink’. This is the act of disassociating yourself from your ex-partner in the eyes of credit companies and lenders. Your credit report may show that you are dependent on or supply this person financially, and that’s not good.
If you don’t unlink, your partner’s bad credit history could affect you, and vice versa. To unlink, contact a credit report company and request that they remove this information from your report.
The best way to sort out a mortgage is to sell the home and have you both move out. It’s the least messy solution, and will allow you both to have some money to start a new life elsewhere.
Legally
If you were married, things get a whole lot trickier, personally as well as legally. Getting a divorce isn’t as simple as clicking your fingers, unfortunately.
You have many options to take here. You can contact a specialist divorce company like the Skillern Firm, or even file for divorce online. I’d recommend having a human being help you though, for obvious reasons.
You’ll have to equally divide any assets, and reach a mutual agreement. If you both signed an agreement before you married and got a mortgage, it will be easier to split things now. If you didn’t, you’ll both have to agree on what belongs to who. Be amicable!
Custody of the children needs to be decided, too. Joint custody is the best choice, and will have the smallest impact on the kids. Try not to put them through too much stress, and let them decide where they live and when they visit.
Socially
You’ll want to remove any social media relationship statuses, like Facebook. If you made friends with some of your partner’s friends, agree to meet up with them when your partner isn’t around.
Don’t go running your mouth on social media or to your friends, either. No matter how hard you try to keep things quiet, it will always find its way out. Don’t moan about your partner to your kids, and ask them not to spread tales about your divorce to their friends.
