It’s been a while since I shared a good horror story from my dating life with you. Why’s that? Partly because I think I’ve distanced myself ever so-slightly from getting too personal here on the blog. I’m not sure why-but that’s going to change pretty quick here. I miss getting personal. I miss sharing bits of my heart with you all. Also, I think part of it is likely that I’ve been breaking from the dating world-though it always feels like I’m breaking from it. The older I get the longer it takes for me to bounce back-or to care enough to try and bounce back. Especially when you throw a dirty cheater in the mix…
I’m going to tell you the story of a liar. This story is a good few months old at this point, but still good for a laugh. What shall I call him? I think we’ll nickname him “Dodgy” since he was not only dodgy (as in fake as hell) but he was also British, and it’s a nice UK term meaning “something shady.” He certainly was shady… But, he can also be known as Cheater McCheaterson.
How it Began
Let’s go back a few weeks before it all went down. I started getting lots of random comments and flirty messages on Facebook from this guy I used to know. He was my manager at work years ago, and we hadn’t talked or known each other outside of Facebook since late 2008. All of the sudden I start getting “suggestive” comments and messages from him. I knew almost instantly what he was doing by trying to hit on me without sucking it up and actually asking me out, and since I don’t go for that underhanded chicken way of doing things-I just let it go. I played dumb. I dodged his comments.
He Claimed He Was Getting a Divorce
Eventually I actually did engage him in conversation and we started catching up on previous gossip from the old days, and eventually he did tell me he wanted to take me to dinner. He said he’d been living apart from his wife for a while and they’d decided to get a divorce. He followed that up with a very shmoozy rendition of “I’ve always had a thing for you but couldn’t act on it until now” flattery. Seeing as I’ve been on the outs with dating, I avoided giving in for a while, but I finally relented and gave him my number.
I Make Bad Choices When it Comes to Men
We started texting back and forth all day long. It was actually kind of fun to get caught up in the anticipation of the next text, and the flirting, and playing a little coy when questions of a much too personal nature were asked. After a lot of talking he asked the inevitable “Why are you still single? You seem so perfect!” question that we always dread. My answer? I make bad choices when it comes to men. He assured me that he was not a bad choice.
The Disappearing Act, Part 1
Somewhere along the way he deleted me on Facebook. Which I thought was weird, so I called him out on it and he said he’d thought I had deleted him. We decided that it must have been an accidental deletion during some drunk texting. It seemed weird, but I like to give people the benefit of the doubt.
A Plan to Get Together
After thousands of texts and over a week of flirting back and forth, I let him know I’d be in his area on Saturday and Sunday night. Saturday was girl’s night at my friends’ house, but Sunday I was free to get dinner and catch up in person. He was all gung-ho for it and told me he’d text me the next day to let me know what time he was free, as he was picking up his kids for the afternoon earlier but wanted to get together after he took them home.
Cheater McCheaterson, Found Out
I never heard from him again. He blocked me fully on Facebook and then never texted me again. So I looked up his ex-wife’s Facebook page and it turns out that she had just posted some family photos in July. Family photos where he was standing there smiling next to his wife and two kids-indicative of the fact that they had not been separated for “many months” as he had told me. In fact, I doubt he was separated at all. It hit me that he was probably trying to trick me into cheating on his wife with me, and that he lost his nerve and chickened out.
What a horrible human being. His poor wife deserves something much better. So I leave him this…