Dating Stories Archives - My So-Called Chaos

Say That Our Love Ain’t Water Under the Bridge

The day had been exhausting. I'd spent the day with a couple of my favorite coworkers designing a scene and setting it up for a charity Santa event at my work, so while it was rewarding, it was also tiring. Traffic was awful. It was rush hour, so to keep myself calm I'd put on my audio book and I'd gotten off the freeway an exit earlier. Traffic was still bad as I made my way up 33rd south. I was hitting every traffic light, but it was okay as I was accurately engulfed in the tale being read to ... Read the Post

Love This Pain | Can We Become Addicted to Our Pain?

To be completely honest, this is my second draft and a complete re-write of this post. The original (which has been saved to try and make use of in a different way) started becoming a lot darker than I intended-darker than relates to the song I've chosen for Musical Mondays. Sometimes that happens, and sometimes it doesn't work to keep going with that course of writing. On my drive home the other day, Love This Pain by Lady Antebellum (music and lyrics to follow) came on shuffle and I ... Read the Post

I Don’t Want to Fall Another Moment Into Your Gravity

I think, when it comes to dating and relationships, one of the hardest things I will ever have to do is walk away from someone I care about so deeply knowing that they care about me as well. Over the years I've grown more than used to walking away from people who don't care about me. It's become a skill to know when you're no longer wanted and hit the road, and it's actually become somewhat easy to pick up and head out when you know that they can't love you like you could love them, or that ... Read the Post

Because Falling Fills My Memory…

I'm over it. The words were out before there was time to think about whether or not they were true. Truthfully, I didn't know if they were true, but I did know that I didn't want to have the same conversation for the hundredth time. You know, the conversation that starts with him telling me how badly he wants me, but that it's complicated, and ends with an acceptance of yes, you want me, but not bad enough to do anything about it. The truth is, as soon as the words left me and my fingers ... Read the Post

I Confess That I’m Only Holding on by a Thin Thin Thread

A few months ago I told my brother that breakups get easier the older you get and the more you go through. It's not true. I like to convince myself that they get easier, but they don't. Maybe they even get harder? Maybe it just depends on the situation. I'm not coping well with this one-my heart hurts infinitely more than I expected and I'm in a really low place. I've lost faith that Yoshi is going to get his complication taken care of in any kind of reasonable time frame, so I'm giving up ... Read the Post

‘Cause I Just Can’t Seem to Shake, Wake, Break it, or Quit You

Sometimes it feels like I'm just caught in these different cycles. There are a few of them, smaller ones within bigger ones, but I keep coming back to the same point-this same square one-when it comes to my heart. The bigger cycle being that I'm increasingly unable to meet/date/fall for anyone who is even capable of having a meaningful relationship. I started logging into a dating site again (just one, it's all I can handle-baby steps, right?) and hey-surprise! I still hate it. Hating the ... Read the Post